Who wears a wallet chain?!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
