I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
