Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
