This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize