Nicole vs. Life
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
why do cheetos always look like penises
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
