found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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