I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
