it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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