He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
