You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
