im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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