yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
