did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
