STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
