Sponge bath it is.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
