she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
