just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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