let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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