is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
