dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so much tequila, so little girl.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
