hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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