I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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