i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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