Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
