3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
