I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
