the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
