You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
