I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
