need another drink. this is the easiest way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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