She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
