they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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