I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
