Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
