you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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