Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
