Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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