After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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