the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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