He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The air taste purple.
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