No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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