It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
