Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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