sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
