Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
