Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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