You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she peed on how many people?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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