is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize