Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
