dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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